


The Lost Heavens

by gloriouswhisperstyphoon



Series: a thousand threads of a life never lived [1]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Angst, F/M, I'm serious about the angst, Modern AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-07-03 02:30:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15809505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gloriouswhisperstyphoon/pseuds/gloriouswhisperstyphoon
Summary: The world rushed around him and Cassian could barely pay attention to what was going on. It was him and Jyn, as it always had been.Or: Cassian and Jyn, in a hospital at the end of a life.





	The Lost Heavens

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TinCanTelephone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinCanTelephone/gifts).



> many thanks to TinCanTelephone for letting me have carte blanche over the whumpage.
> 
> The original tumblr post: https://gloriouswhisperstyphoon.tumblr.com/post/177429514825/in-universe-or-modern-au-just-whump-cassians-ass

The ringing of the phone was loud and jarring to his ears as it woke him from a light and fitful sleep, the fire dying in front of him. Nothing felt right without Jyn at his side, the years of their easy companionship now finally coming to an end.

Doctor Kalonia’s voice echoed down the line. “Mister Andor?”

“It’s all right, Doctor.” It didn’t matter. There was only one call that this could be, this late in the night.

“It’s time. You need to come to the hospital.”

A loud click on the end of the line, followed by the robotic dial tone.

His hand hovered over the keypad on the phone. 

Was it time to call Rey and the rest of the family? 

Jyn deserved them all to to be there, but a small selfish part of his being cried out  _ no, I have been there since the beginning. It should be Cassian and Jyn, as it always has been. _

The numbers were loud. 

Rey’s voice was soft on the other end and she was quiet as he told her what was going on. She knew what was happening almost as much as he did.

“We’ll be there as soon as we can.”

He hung up.

What more was there that he could say?

  
  


\--

 

 

The hospital was a loud rush of noise, the people in the corridors all seeming to stare at him as he walked by, their faces appearing to be false images of sympathy and matching expressions of sorrow. 

“The third floor,” he could dimly hear someone saying to him. 

The third floor, that dreaded place. Where only the dying and the dead went and where the air was so cold he felt half a corpse himself.

A blank nod to the doctors in the corridor.

Jyn’s skin was pale and sallow against the starched white of the hospital sheets as Cassian walked into the room.

A soft hand rested on his shoulder as he looked over his wife’s face. Doctor Kalonia.

A moment of silence as they took in the grim tableau before them.

His voice was hoarse when he finally spoke. “Is it normal for things to change this quickly? She was fine when I saw her earlier today.”

Nothing but a shrug. “It’s a complex disease. Sometimes people can get better suddenly and sometimes they can get worse. There’s really no predicting."

The only sound he could hear was the faint wheeze of the machines. 

“We removed all of the tubes, except for the breathing ones. We find that it gives the patient more dignity and more peace in their last hours.”

He tried to give a small smile of appreciation. His mind cried out and he almost let out a sarcastic little laugh.  _ This is the daughter of Galen and Lyra Erso, mother of Rey Andor! She has been through so much more than you can imagine. There is nothing that you can do to restore her dignity, because it is something that can never be taken from her. _

But he did not say any of that, just sat there quietly with his wife’s hand in his, Cassian and Jyn as they always has been.

The door opened and closed again and it was the two of them and Cassian could almost see the lions of the British museum and the snows of Copenhagen and the brilliant skies above the Neva River as they walked beneath the White Nights again, just as they once had. 

Sometime during the night, the door opened once more and he could see Rey out of the corner of his vision, her mother’s other hand in hers. It didn’t matter. 

He was here for Jyn.

  
  
  


\--  
  


 

The living room seemed brighter in the morning, but also somehow deeply unwelcoming, almost as though the spark had been sucked out of the world. 

Why did he feel like this? It wasn’t as though he hadn’t been alone the whole time since Jyn had gone into the hospital and never come out. 

Rey hovered just outside of the door. Her hand twitched awkwardly, and Cassian could feel the ghost of her mother over his shoulder. 

She licked her lips, trying to form the words.

“You know you can always come back to my place with me and Poe, right? It’s probably not a good idea for you to be home alone right now.”

He shrugged and crossed the threshold. “I will, Rey. Maybe later on, though.” 

She walked in, grabbing a pair of mugs and making some tea, mashing the tea bags against the side of the cup.

Cassian grinned slightly. If her mother was here, she’d roast Rey alive for that. 

“Thank you for being there,” he said, looking for something to say.

Rey leaned against the kitchen counter, her eyes starting to well up. “Of course I would have been there, dad. Where else would I have been?”

Cassian bit his lip, trying not to cry. If he started, he would never stop. 

Her phone went off in her pocket and she looked at it, before turning back to him with an apologetic expression. “It’s Poe, I need to run home to sort something out. Do you want me to stay? I can sleep over here if you want.”

He shook his head. “I’m healthy enough, Rey. I can cope.”

“I’ll visit you every day though.”

He laughed. “If you come every day, Rey, I’ll just lock the door. Once a week is fine.”

A familiar fire flashed in her eyes. “Twice a week.”

Another laugh before he nodded and ushered her out. 

The door closed softly behind him and he looked at his empty house as the tears started.

Ah. So this was what it meant to be alone.


End file.
